disastrous

I am not a creature of action and reflex like you. You have callused fingers and battle scars tracing white networks over your hands and arms.  I have smooth skin and systems built for fight and flight, perfect accomplishments of human evolution that become useless in me. I use theory and concept as a barrier against achievement.  I understand the reasoning behind the pound and flow of blood in my wrists, but never feel anything more than a fluttering pulse.  I talk of effect and impulse that I've never known. With a disorderly and uncertain mind, I read of cities, ancient and magnificent, built of marble and dirt and blood.  I admire th